Prosecco ham, brie & cranberry sandwich
20 August 2020
Two women approach an outdoor café table.
Older Woman: Maybe here ? Do we need to come up to the counter?
Younger Woman: No, they come to the table, mum, just sit down – it says right there on the sign.
Mum [sitting down with relief]: Ooft, I think that should be a bottle of wine. It’s a good day for a bottle of wine. Or maybe even…prosecco? Do they have prosecco?
Younger Woman: Oh yes, a bottle of wine would be nice.
Mum: What do you think you’re going to get Jackie? They have A –vocado toast on the menu there. I think I’ll have the prosecco ham, brie and cranberry sandwich – that sounds very nice.
Jackie: Maybe the avocado toast, I am not sure.
[Pause where they both look at their phones]
Hostess: Good afternoon ladies, can I have your contact details?
Mum: Oh yes, it’s Aierdrie, A-i-e-r-d-r-i-e and I can never remember this phone number-
Jackie: -Let me – it’s 077…. That shall be your little task for later mum! Memorise the phone number.
Hostess: What would you like?
Mum: I will be having the ham, brie and cranberry sandwich.
Jackie: Do you have a menu?
Hostess: It’s there on the board, behind –
Jackie: Ah, I see, I will take a look [stands up to take a look]
Mum: Do you do wine by the bottle?
Hostess: Yes, three choices. I have a red – it’s a Malbec from Argentina, and Pinot Grigio –
Mum: Yes, I think we will be having that.
Hostess: Great, just a moment [she leaves to bring an ice bucket with an Italian Pinot Grigio]
Jackie [with suspicion]: Is it Spanish?
Hostess: No, it is Italian.
Mum: She’s only got three bottles here, Jackie.
Jackie: ah, allright. I will be having a falafel and hummus wrap please. [Hostess leaves]
Mum: So, what did you go for? I thought you wanted the A -vocado?
Jackie: I went for falafel and hummus wrap I quite like falafel I just don’t get it very often. What do you think you’re getting?
Mum: I think it’s like what that lady over there has.
[Pause]
Jackie: Did you see the birthday cake Sharon had?
Mum: Yes, quite a good looking cake, wasn’t it.
Jackie: I hope her work goes well.
[Pause]
Mum [looking over to the space across the bench in the shade, currently occupied by a lady with a notebook]: It’s very sunny here, are you ok over there Jackie? It’s very warm.
Jackie: Yes, I am really enjoying the sun.
Mum: [muttering] Can’t move much because of the social distancing thing. [To Jackie] It is really a nice day, quite hot out, we rarely get days like these.
Jackie: Yes that was quite a nice walk we did today. Ah, here comes the food.
P.s. The ‘brown seeded bread’ for the sandwich was awfully generic shite with not enough brie, but the off-menu margarita was nice.