Me: Hello, could I get to unit 5 in the industrial estate please?

TaxiDriver: That the one in Hillington?

Me: I’m not sure, I’ve never been there before.

Taxi: Aah, the hairdressers is in that one, Iknow

Me: Actually… yes, there is a hairdressers’ there.

Taxi: Well I know I mean thatstheonlythingthatsther’

Me:

Taxi: You women send too much on hair, what you gonna spend there? £40…£60?

Me: … Well, I get my hair done once a year so I don’t mind.

Taxi: Us menfolk don’t notice athing anyway, we don’t know what women hair make up is, if she’s wearing different clothes anything, anything

Me: I…um…it’s only once a year…

Taxi: See when I look at my wife, I don’t need to look, she asks me, she asks “how do I look” and I don’t need to look I say “You look beautiful”. She has cancer, my wife.

Me: Oh. My sympathies. Is she getting treatment?

Taxi: Ooh yes yes, she’s been having whatjamacallit chromotherapy

Me: That’s good to hear. It’s amazing what doctors can do.

Taxi: Oh yes, I had keyhole surgery on my heart couple year back. They couldn’t do it years back, then arteries clogged up they’ve had to operate now they can just put this thing and it thins the blockage and pop! it just passes through, no need to operate.

Me: That’s great…

Taxi: My son gets embarrassed about these tings easily, its quitefunny I tell a, he had an operation on his groin you see, and the nurse looked at him and said “ooh that’s a big boy he is” and he got all embarrassed.

Me:

Well… nurses and doctors have such strange sense of humour, don’t they? They must see this kind of stuff all the time.

 Taxi: Ooh yes yes, she didn’t tell him “oh that’s a small boy”, she told him “oh that’s a big boy” she did, ha ha. Here we are pal, the hairdressers’ just oer there.

Me: Thanks.

I waited until the taxi left to go to the other door.